Another Surprise!

After a long day of work at the business school, came home to do some work and then headed out for dinner with Ming at Chili's. Good food as usual.

Got home and got an unexpected call from a bank in Hong Kong. I totally did not anticipate the call and was really shocked to suddenly have to deal with a phone interview. Not that it was anything tough after all the practice that I had. In fact, I was pretty surprised that I wasn't panicking at all. Went almost like clock-work except for the crappy mobile phone connection (darn the connections here, it caused me to get some negative remarks from my interviewer for not having a fixed line).

Anyways, to cut a long story short, on top of a trip to Chicago on February 5th, this other bank is also flying me to New York City this Friday for final round interviews! *beams* Really excited and hope that I'll be able to land a job. Darn it, look me in the eyes. I really want the job!

Sunday

A little too much on my mind last night. Couldn't get to sleep with my brain crammed full with OMS stuff and other random thoughts. Reality check I guess. 3 weeks into school. I look into the mirror and I don't really recognize the person I see anymore. I don't know how to describe it. Maybe I'll give this a shot some other time.

In the meanwhile, another Sunday packed full with team meetings and homework assignment meetings. Don't really want to think too much into the day; I'll just deal with the work when it comes.

Lay on the couch last night and dozed off sometime near dawn. Dreams &/or flashbacks kept creeping in. Sub-conscious mind kicking in again. I guess, not having time to think about things when buried under a pile of work just means that everything will come chasing me at other times. Just awesome.

Have a great Sunday.

P.S. Thanks Clara, Wynne, my parents and all my friends who dropped in their well-wishes. Really hope that I will be able to get the job next Monday.

Jelly Fingers

Fingers/hands feel like jelly right now. Can barely type properly. A pretty typical Friday spent at Kresge Library working on my group homework assignment. Not fun.

Anyways, after I concluded my group meeting, headed over to the Intra Mural Building (IM Building) to go rock climbing. Bring on the chalk!!! It's been a long time since I last rock climbed. It's definitely good to slam my palm against a slab and hope it sticks. Trembling hands, tensed up muscles, hands completely white with chalk. Memories of better times...

Okay, typing is getting way too hard. Jelly fingers are not following my commands. Shucks I don't know how I am going to do my written homework assignments. Haha. This is going to hurt like hell tomorrow when I get out of bed.

Oh well, I'll go do more readings before I turn in for the night. Have a great weekend people. Hope I'll have time to go chalk it up (literally) from now on every Friday.

SURPRISE!

*jumps up and down in excitement* Suddenly a little hope in sight!!! Just got an email from one of the investment banks in Hong Kong with an invitation to attend second round interviews at Chicago! *grins from ear to ear* Options had run out. This is almost certainly my last chance. Wish me luck!

Time Out

Time Out. Been crunching numbers for my Finance 310 class. Doing my homework assignment due tomorrow on topics which the Prof hasn't covered in class (thanks huh). Short sell on margin computations is driving everyone in the class nuts.

Disappointment has set in pretty bad but I guess, I'm still trying to find a way to secure an internship this summer. Will see how it goes. I hope all is well for everyone back home. This definitely doesn't feel like week 3. I swear it's week 9 of school or something. Wishing I had more than 24 hours in my day. Argh.

Homework assignments just keep piling in non-stop. It's going to be another nice weekend camping out in Kresge Library (along with the whole BBA class of 2008 again). Wonderful huh. It's amazing they haven't thought of keeping the library open 24 hours.

Anyways, I forgot to write in here that you guys should have bought into Conoco Phillips (COP) and ExxonMobil (XOM) when the oil prices hit rock bottom at 49 bucks a barrel. Winter has finally hit for the past 2 weeks and oil prices are starting to push back up. The petrol companies are going to continue climbing. Also, Google was on discount for a couple of days. Just buy in when they hit 480 bucks. They rose 20 bucks today, approximately a 4% climb. I can't really phantom which way the financial institutions groups are heading. Might see a slight dip in earnings after the stellar last quarter. Citi took a big hit when they missed earnings estimates. The Street is merciless when it comes to earnings reportings. A couple of banks going to release earnings for this quarter. Might be worth a look if you have the time.

Alright. Back to work. Being buried in work (this time, involuntarily), actually isn't all that bad. On track to building up an impressive sleep debt once again.

Miss you...

The Mad Week (which continued into the mad weekend)

No time to mope over not getting an internship offer. I've been camped out at the business school for the past 3 days. Almost the whole BBA class is camped out here. Everyone is going nuts about cranberries. Yes, you heard me right. National Cranberries and Northwest Newsprint is taking the world by storm. MBAs and BBAs are all working on the case due tonight. I'm glad I'm done with it after pushing my team to finish it as soon as possible.

It's almost to the point of insanity. Every corner I turn, ever table I walk past, every conversation I hear is about cranberries and when the next berry can leave the process.

It's really beautiful outside today. Snow, grey skies, the bitter cold. Holed up in the business school, working on my laptop, listening to my favorite songs on my earphones, staring out into the gloomy surroundings. It's peaceful in an odd way.

Nowadays, I literally pass out at night from exhaustion of the day's activities. 9 hours of continuous group meetings can get on your nerves sometimes. Fun but it can get really tiring when you're sitting in the same chair for 9 hours straight with little in the way of entertainment.

Had a good night yesterday. Thanks for visiting me in my dreams. It was a welcome relief. 你要快乐，知道吗？

I think I posted this link some time back. Its a nice song.

Of Wishes, Hopes, Promises and Dreams

I don't know what to say... Disappointed...

Judgement Day

Hey everyone. It's been quite a few days since I wrote my last blog entry. I'm quite glad that it's Friday. The week was only 3 days long but it pretty much felt like it was my finals week or something.

Been having interviews and preparing for them like crazy over the past few days. Now I'll just have to wait for the results which will be out sometime today. Waiting anxiously for the phone call to come. Hopefully not a rejection email...

Haven't really been keeping up to speed with classes. Running all over campus and attending classes in between has been brutal. Barely get enough rest at all, especially on Wednesday and Thursday. Back to back interviews, pre-night dinners, classes, homework assignments, pop quizes (darn it), freezing weather (Ann Arbor looks like Narnia now, and I'm not exagerrating).

This photo doesn't do the sight much justice since it was taken using my phone's camera and I was shivering while snapping this shot.


And the beautiful diag covered in snow...

The weather has been crazy over the past week. Well, at least the whole place is now covered in snow (and ice). Looks more like the wintery Ann Arbor I know. There were a couple of days when the treese and everything around were coated with ice. Trees looks like they were coated with glass, with beautiful icicles hanging down from the branches. Most trees were so burdened by the weight that they were bent into half their heights, obstructing the sidewalks and threatening to come crashing down on anyone who foolishly bumps into them. It looks really beautiful when the sun shines through, making the whole world look like it is coated with crystal.

I hope all is well for everyone. My apologies for missing anyone's messages or calls from time to time when I completely pass out in front of my comp late at night. Take care. Miss you.

Sunday Morning

Concussed pretty early last night. Might be blogging a little less regularly nowadays. Took Saturday off and watched 24 (the TV series, go watch it!). Awesome show.

Anyways, woke up today due to hrm... some disturbances. Something along the lines of a cow mooing in my room. Decided to get out of bed at 4:30am and went for a short run in the miserable rain. Frozen sidewalks are TRECHEROUS. Almost fell a couple of times.

Got home, showered and left for Steak N Shake for an early morning meal. Semi-decent food. Take my advice and stock to their milk shakes. Took a long drive around Ann Arbor in the darkness, down Huron Parkway. It is a really beautiful place to drive at night since there are no cars on this road that winds through a wooded area. Down Geddes Avenue and up Catherine, into the historic district.

I was going to see if I could catch the farmer's market but they are only in operation on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Maybe another time. Chanced upon the Famous Zingerman's Delicatessen, arguably the best known deli in the US (and maybe the world). Sat down for a cup of steaming hot latte. I'm not a big latte drinker but I must say it really tasted fantastic on a cold, rainy Sunday morning. Nice music too.

After stoning there and reading the papers for some time, I headed over to the deli next door. I couldn't resist buying a currant scone and a german pretzel (made with lard!). The smell of freshly baked bread and rows of yummy looking cheese was really impressive. The location of the store (right next to the farmer's market within the historic district), the build of the place, the set up of the shop, the people, the food, gave Zingerman's deli a really homey, small-town feel, which was truly unique. What can I say, just awesome.

If you are interested, do check out their website: Zingerman's Delicatessen . Visitors to Ann Arbor should definitely make a trip down to Zingerman's when in town. Big thumbs up for them!

Managed to catch my parents and sis online when I got home! Glad to see them. It's been a pretty rough first week at school. More challenges to come. Wish me luck! (and of course, hard work if you wish to tell me to work harder than I do. Haha...)

One last thing. Heard this song at Zingerman's just now. Haven't heard it in awhile.

Everything I Do, I Do It For You -- Bryan Adams



Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there
All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Knocked Out

I passed out last night really early for the first time in the week and regretfully so. Missed an extremely important phone call from one of the banks in Asia. Argh. So irritated with myself.

I guess, I was pretty much exhausted yesterday after running around since 7am in the morning. Classes all the way till 4pm, rushed home and got changed for a corporate presentation by Jefferies & Company, Inc. Followed that up with a informal interaction session at Pizza House with the representatives and passed out after I came home.

Can't believe this is the first week at school. Work is already storming in and everyone looks as jaded as they did at the end of last semester. Interviews, group projects, classes, homework assignments are crashing in all at once.

Got up at 4am and tried to call the guy back but couldn't reach him. Will try again later. Feel like heading out to grab breakfast at 6am at Angelo's. I can't imagine how beaten up my body and mind feels just after one week back in the business school. What a semester this is going to be...

Days of Madness

Good morning... It's 7:18am on a Thursday morning right now and I decided to climb out of bed. Couldn't sleep anymore. The last school day of the week is finally here. I can barely believe it is the case. Just less a week ago I was sitting at East Coast Park, feeling the warm sea breeze and marvelling at the beautiful sight of the sea in Singapore. Just less than a week ago, I was standing at the top of Mount Faber, looking down at the stunning night skyline of the little island of Singapore. All those memories feel like they happened ages ago. It just struck me that I am just concluding my first week of school. *muses in wonder* It certainly does not feel this way. Feel like I'm fighting the heat of the 7th week of school or something.

The past few days have been hectic at school. Nothing much to write about. Classes aren't as enjoyable this semester compared to the previous one. My profs this sem (and probably the courses too) aren't half as good as the ones I had last semester. Not to say that they're incompetent; I think all of them are pretty darn brilliant at what they do, just that they can't teach thats all.

Okay, need to head out to class. Maybe I'll update this later if I have the time.

First Day of Winter 2007

First day of Winter 2007 term. A little tired. Maybe its due to the jet lag or maybe I'm just a little exhausted from everything. Already an OMS311 homework due tomorrow (today rather) before midnight. 2 page write-up to be submitted online and brought to class for discussion. The prof was alright I guess, just that his lectures were kinda poorly organized so it was pretty tough to follow. 90 pages of reading for the first lecture doesn't bode well. Haha.

Anyways, one a brighter note, I got my close list for one of the companies which I wanted. Yes! That'll save me some bidding points. I guess, 3 closed-lists isn't all too bad. Interviews all scheduled for next Wednesday. 3 in a day, on top of regular classes. *ponders* Going to be one hell of a day. Hopefully I will make it through for those interviews. Going to do lots of practice this coming weekend to prepare for them (at the expense of a ski trip to the ski resort with SSA).

Between going for classes, doing read-ups, doing write-ups and passing out sometimes, my first day of school is coming to an end. Back to work. Super long day coming up tomorrow. 8:30am till 4:00pm, non-stop. Good luck to me.

Touchdown Michigan

Just reached Michigan about 3 hours ago. Finally reached back in Michigan after 2 connections at Narita and Seattle, flying for 20 plus hours exclusing transit time. I slept most of the way on the planes (approximately 18 hours of disturbed sleep). Still feeling pretty burnt out and my mind is so dulled that I can't really straight.

Anyways, I went to look at the blog entry which I wrote before I flew off from Singapore. I swear I don't know how I wrote or published it. I completely have no impression of writing the last 3 paragraphs while I was sprawled semi-conscious on my bed. A brief recount of the night before I flew off. Left DHS, sent Weilin home, went to bid farewell to Pat at IHM, took dinner at home, went out for supper with the gang, returned home, did my final packing up, read some cards and emails.

Knocked out with my face smashed into my laptop at about 2:45am and shot out of bed at 3:30am. In my mad rush to the airport, I forgot to wake my sis up to bid farewell to her. Sheepishly called her from the airport departure lounge. =S Feeling pretty terrible about it. Sorry Wynne.

Flight time was a blur. Getting on and off planes, taking off and landing didn't even wake me up anymore. Images kept creeping into my dreams the entire flight. Why is it so darn difficult to forget? Oh well, I think 4 weeks of sleep debt is finally catching up with me. Ming cooked pork chops for dinner, which tasted pretty fantastic after all that crappy airline food (I hazily remember taking a few meals on the planes).

One little trivia which I picked up on my flight back here. I watched this show "The Last Kiss" on one of the planes. Kinda watched and fell asleep in between parts but I caught this quote which I thought was worth googling for. It was from a girl's dad to the girl's boyfriend. "What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you love. That's what matters. That's the only thing that counts."

Here I am, back in Michigan again, ready to start a new school term. It's going to be a hectic semester. Winter semester is always more gruelling than fall semester because the profs don't give the short buffer period before hitting the classes with the full load. Interviews, workshops, presentations, school work, who knows what else, is awaiting. Exciting challenges; just a little physically and emotionally drained at the moment. Fat hope if anyone thinks I'll break down. I'm all ready to go at it again.

Jiayou everyone. To those who have made my short trip back to Singapore a delightful one, my sincerest thanks from the bottom of my heart. To my wonderful family, it was just so awesome to see all of you again. Wynne, good luck as you begin your secondary school life. Study hard and do mom and dad proud ya? Sharmaine, don't grow up too quickly! Listening to the Barney song and thinking of how you dance to it still bring a smile to my face.

What a holiday it has been...

Countdown to Take-off

No false start this time round. Definitely going to fly off for Michigan in 4 hours time. A little stoned now after having a nice packet of nasi lemak which my wonderful parents headed out to buy for my brother and I. I'll be flying off at 6am while my brother will be taking a flight approximately 2 hours after mine. Home will see less activity after my brother and I return to the US. Maybe peace and quiet would be a welcome change. =P

First, lets talk about my day. Pulled myself out of bed at 7am to prepare for a trip to my sister's school for her CCA day. Spent the entire morning there listening to talks and visiting the CCA booths. It makes me realize that Dunman's CCA groups are actually pretty strong compared to other schools.

Lunch was a short affair at Lorong Ah Soo food centre. I had fried kway teow (my first on this trip back) and chee kueh. Not fantastic but still decent Singaporean food. I headed home to pick up the car from my dad. Had to rush to send him for his golf game before heading over to Weilin's place to pick her up, then head down to Ghim Moh Road where Dunman High is located down. Driving from the east to the west made me realize how painful it is for students to put up with the long journey to and from school everyday. It was pretty good (or bad rather) to head back to Dunman to look at the scouts prepare for orientation. Lots of stuff have changed, largely, for the worse.

Anyways, ended up staying in dunman until the day's prep was over. Had dinner at home with my family before heading out for a final supper with some of the gang before I fly off.

Really tired and exhausted right now. Almost can't wait to get on the plane so that I can just collapse and have a good sleep. Take care everyone. Take care mom and dad.

P.S. I miss you.

Pushing the Days

Had a pretty hectic day today. Regretfully I didn't manage to get up on time this morning to send my sister to school. Passed out in the wee hours of the morning after studying the technical questions for interviews last night. Started waiting for the phone call from Hong Kong for my interview until around noon when I finally got the call. Didn't go too bad I guess; maybe lacked practice after a 2 week break from my mock interviews. The interview was totally fit questions; no technicals at all.

Alvin picked me up and we headed to Vivocity for lunch at this German Bar / Grill place. The music and food there was pretty good. A little pricey but oh well, how often do I get to chill out with my old pal. The view from the restaurants in Vivocity were pretty nice. Water-front dining. Quite a good way to make people pay for the ambiance. Went over to Hong Lim with Alvin to get his dance shoes and then hung out at Coffee Bean for sometime. Yucks. I want my Starbucks / Pacific Coffee.

I went off to pick up the car from dad and drove off to meet Kaye for dinner. Haven't seen her in ages. Since NUS rock climbing days. That seems almost like a lifetime ago. Guess where we went for dinner. Vivocity. =S Had jap food. Decent I guess, but nothing fantastic. They need restaurants with better / special food at Vivocity. The current ones are the typical restaurants you can get at the usual shopping malls, except that they're situated in front of the harbor.

Drove around for a little before sending Kaye home. Bunch of weirdos standing around at Labrador Park in the rain and queuing up for something. No idea what they were doing hanging around that place in the rain and in the dark. Drove up Mount Faber (again). Needless to say, the view on top of Mount Faber was beautiful. Feelings crept in but oh well, buried them before they could overwhelm me.

Got home and hung around for sometime. Got close listed for two of the banks I wanted but didn't get closed for several others which were top of my list too. -shrugs- Will just have to bid for the interview slots I guess.

I headed out once again around midnight to meet up with Weilin for a short supper. Grabbed fried chicken and ice mint tea at Arab Street. Just sat around and chatted about random stuff before heading home. 谢了，兄弟! Hahaha. (I'm so going to get murdered for this.)

Pretty packed day today. Mind wandered into the no-go zone and stirred up feelings which I have gone great lengths to ignore. One more day and I'll be gone. How much does it really matter? *wonders*

Baby-sitting early tomorrow morning. I think I'll go read a book for a change until I fall asleep. Good night, sleep tight and sweet dreams.

New Day, New Battles

Woke up bright and early today. A little tired out from working late into the night. Had a rather shocking opening to my day. -shrugs-

Woke my sister up and she stubbornly insisted that I drove her to school together with my mom. What could I say? That's the whole reason for staying a few more days in Singapore right? After sending my sis to school and my mom to work, I went to grab breakfast at the food centre next to Kovan Heartland Mall. Ate a steaming hot bowl of fishball noodles for breakfast. It felt pretty weird to be eating that early in the morning.

Got home and cleared emails, read up on interviews before heading out for lunch with Esther. Had 鼎泰丰 for lunch at City Hall. Food was pretty good, except that I can't face another 小笼包 for the next few months. Took a short bus ride over to the Concourse to find nice flowers for Pat's niche since the ones I bought the other day were kinda crummy. Found a nice small bunch of red roses with baby's breath.

I bought a couple of slices of cake from Bakerz Inn for my mom before heading back to pick up my sister from her school. Decided to give my sis a little surprise and went to purchase a pack of McDonald's french fries. Concussed for some time in the afternoon, just passed out from exhaustion.

Resumed working on applications and reading up on interviews. Dinner was a nice meal with my family less my dad because he had to attend a meeting. It's nice to be able to eat at home.

Dragged my brother out just now and went to ECP for a drink at the same old beach pub. Chatted about things and grabbed mee sua for supper along Upper East Coast. Been quite a long time since I was last there. Things are so different now...

Oh well, I think I'll head to bed earlier for once. Lots of stuff to deal with and they're bouncing around in my mind. Hopefully I'll be able to sleep so that I'll be more alert for my phone interview tomorrow morning. Wish me luck.

理想情人 - Raine 楊丞琳

This is a beautiful song...

理想情人

演唱: 楊丞琳
作曲: 小冷
編曲: 林從胤
填詞: 艾利絲

穿上洋裝看著手錶
時間快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次約會來臨了

金色的陽光灑滿人行道
換了新唇膏把頭髮弄好
要你看到我的好

喜歡看你走路充滿自信
說話時候你的專注眼神
溫柔的表情笑容裡的天真
我相信　找不到有比你更好的人
你心裡理想情人是幾分
是否也會有我的份

好想知道你的100分　會給怎樣的人
親愛的你不要再陌生　增加我戲份
我想問　親愛的你把感情升等
朋友變成情人　可不可以
告訴我標準　不要讓我一直等

聽著那時間滴答的走　對街的你在點頭
好像一個夢　漸漸　走到我前頭

Welcome to Singapore Again

This post was posted a little late because I hit the "save as draft" instead of "publish" button accidentally in Blogger. My apologies. =P

After the adrenaline from suddenly not having to fly off to Michigan weaned off, I collapsed and fell asleep. Pulled myself out of bed early in the morning to surprise my sis and decided to drive her to school since it was the first day of her secondary school life. Traffic was crazy to say the least.

Sent my mom to work and went to grab some fried bee hoon and hot soy bean milk for breakfast. Had this feeling like I just returned to Singapore once again. I worked on my applications for quite some time because several of them were due on 4 Jan 2007. Picked up my sis after school and bought her Old Chang Kee fishballs from Kovan Heartland Mall. Missed eating the fishballs (even though they don't taste all that fantastic). Brings back earlier fond memories of Singapore.

Anyways, dropped by to IHM for a short while to rearrange/trim the flowers which I put in the day before. Looks much nicer/neater now. The flowers don't look all that great but I decided to change it the day before because the previous ones have been there for quite some time.

Rest of the day was spent with my family at home, working on my applications and enjoying the sound of the rain slamming hard against my window. Would have headed out for a drink or something if the weather was clear but oh well, decided to stay home for a change. It's nice to sink into the sofa and watch TV once in awhile, a luxury which I definitely didn't have in Michigan.

I think these 4 extra days have urged me to straighten out some unfinished matters and spend more time with my family. It also allowed me more time to meet up with friends and of course, visit some of my old favorite hangouts. *yawns* I'm going to be baby sitter and attend my sister's CCA fair / Meet-the-teachers session on Saturday. Jeeze I hope no one mistakes me for her dad.

Got some off the stuff off my chest earlier. Maybe I'll be able to sleep better tonight. Back to reading the Vault guide until I feel sleepy.

Good night everyone.

Shock

I'm all packed and ready to leave the house. I was going to get changed and keep my laptop but I decided to go confirm my flight status/reservation on nwa.com. Out of curiousity, I checked to see if I could change my tickets for Sunday instead, just like I've always done in the past. I totally missed out that flight option in the past. Either it wasn't there or I just never saw it. Paid the admin fee for changing the flight and I got my flight changed to Sunday. I'm shocked and can't believe I'm not flying off in 3 hours time. Quite stunned. Actually, very stunned.

At least I'll have time to go visit my grandma again and keep my little sis company. Maybe also meet up with some friends whom I've not had the chance to see due to time constraints.

I'm sitting in bed with my laptop at 3am instead of being on the car, going to the airport. I just extended my stay in Singapore (is that a good thing?) for another 4 days. I'm not dreaming or having a nightmare, am I?

Departure In 6 Hours

Off to Michigan, back to fight another battle by myself once again. Just got back from supper with Weilin, See Eng and Yexin. It suddenly dawned on me that I'll be leaving Singapore in less than 8 hours time. Went into a little daze at that thought.

The past year, the past 6 months, the short holiday, has been a real whirlwind / roller coaster ride of my life. I had hit rock bottom; I found happiness. I had laughter, tears, joy, pain. I don't know how to describe what's running through my head right now. All of this almost feels unreal. More on that later I guess. I'll talk about the past 2 days first and then hopefully my thoughts would have been sorted out by then (darn blogger ate up my post last night).

Had lunch with my paternal grandparents. It was great to see them and have a meal with them. Just a little worried about my grandpa. I hope he'll feel better soon. Headed over to Taka to buy bedsheets for my mom and dad's new bed. It's been a long time since I went shopping out with my parents and sis (my bro was busy so he didn't join us for lunch). It was just a good time.

I sent my dad out for a New Year's Day function and drove his car (hehe...) once again. Came home and did a little work and ran some errands for my mom. Decided to head over to visit Pat's parents before I leave. I dropped by their place to chit chat with them for quite some time. Found out some other stuff which I wish I never knew. -shrugs- I hope they will fine peace and happiness as time passes.

Met up with the gang less Yex for supper at Simpang. I was already super stoned and mentally pre-occupied by that time. Too tired and exhausted to eat or talk. Headed over to East Coast and took a stroll along the beach, feeling and smelling the warm sea breeze. Sat down at the beach pub for a drink and listened to the waves as they broke. I'm going to miss this again.

Went for a drive down ECP and went up Mount Faber for one last time. Marvelled at the view once again but the sinking feeling in my heart was a little too hard to stomach. Home and did work until early this morning (Jan 2, 2007).

I woke up bright and early and went out with Alvin. Haven't met him in ages. We went to Botanic Gardens for a stroll and then the original Killiney Kopitiam for breakfast. It was great to be able to catch up with my old pal again. Thanks bro!

Lunch was chicken rice at Toa Payoh with my family. They're kinda overpriced now and the food isn't as great as before. Went over to the Orchard apartment to pick up stuff, headed to Taka to change the bedsheets for my parents because they chose the wrong color, and then met up with some of the gang for Ya Kun and Pacific Coffee. Kaya toast with tea and then ice lemon tea at Pacific. 好难把那杯柠檬茶喝下去... Miss the days camping out at Pacific Coffee in Marina.

I went over to Pat's niche to bid farewell and put in new flowers for her. I don't know when I'll be back to see her again. Dar, I'll 加油 okay? Really don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine.

Dinner was a good meal at home (in fact, my first meal at home because my house was undergoing renovation the whole time). Dashed out to meet up with the 3 of them for supper. Pretty hilarious to hear the old stories again about Yex and Weilin, stories which Pat had told me millions of times over. Things have since changed so much...

Okay, so here I am, back home. Dumped most of my stuff into my luggage since there isn't all that much to carry. My feelings sorted out yet? Hrm...

This holiday has been *ponders* I don't know how to describe it. Terrible would summarize a lot of it but there were many happy moments too. I guess it was difficult to come to terms with all the things that has happened over the last half year or so. Work had occupied a ton of my time and energy over the semester (and sadly, much of the holidays too) but being physically home forced me to deal with everything.

It hasn't been easy. I never expected it to be. I just didn't think it would hurt so hard and so bad. Well, I'll be flying off very soon. I don't know when I'll be back in Singapore again. Maybe in a few months time. Maybe in a year. Maybe in a few years. I really don't know. This is the first time I'm feeling weird before leaving. Feels like I'm not going to be back here anymore. I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I really have no idea.

I don't know what to say. I don't know how to forget. Maybe I am not trying hard enough, or maybe I just don't want to. To my friends and family, you have my best wishes. I hope you will enjoy happiness, good health and find true love.

Take care and good luck.

Can't stop thinking about you.

And then it was year 2007...

Hi everyone. There is a ton of stuff on my mind and I can't really be bothered to sort them out properly now, so please forgive me if this blog entry is poorly organized and kinda jumping from one topic to another.

Lets just start with my day. 31st December 2006. Woke up naturally at 7am. Forced myself to stay in bed and stone till 8:30am when I couldn't take it anymore (Staying in bed is a bad idea). Went to see my doctor to get some medication for my cough/sore throat/flu/whatever crap had hit me. Am holding off taking the anti-biotics for now to see if my throat continues recovering. My mom, dad, sis and myself headed to the newly renovated Tiong Bahru market for a late breakfast. Chee kway, fried carrot cake, soy bean milk, fresh coconut.

Went over to my grandma's place for a steamboat lunch. Tons and tons of great food and got to see a lot of my family members again. Probably the last time I'll meet them before I fly off, so that was pretty awesome. However, the biggest highlight of the day: Sharmaine hugged me!!! *grins from ear to ear* She's not afraid of me anymore! Haha. She made me play some card game which she just made up, with funny antics like pressing the cards first to make them soft, dealing cards randomly and placing them into piles. Totally hilarious. Played for a long time with her. I've almost forgotten how fun it is to play with kids. (By the way, Sharmaine is 3 years old.) You should see her do the jiggle and dance when I play the Barney song on my mobile. Indescribable happiness. =) She gave me a huge hug before I left. Made my day!

Headed home for a short while and did some work before going for dinner at Prima Revolving Restaurant. The view up there was spectacular. Didn't really have much of an appetite. Memories were a little hard to stomach. -shrugs- Anyway, Singapore is a beautiful city; really pretty at night. I'll miss the skyline.

Dropped my dad off at a new year countdown event which he had with his friends and drove off in his car because he would be drinking and won't be able to drive after. Contemplated what to do or where to go. Wanted to find a place to quietly welcome the new year. Met up with Weilin and grabbed some drinks (and of course, food for the ever-hungry Weilin), at the beach pub in ECP. Chit chatted for the most of it. We were treated to a surprise at midnight.

In the first few minutes of 2007, all the ships blasted their horns in celebration and many of the ships fired off their red distress flares. It was a mesmerizing sight. The sky filled with bright red specks (think M203 brightstar equivalent out at sea) as the flares slowly fell into the sea.

Ended the night by going for a short spin (driving a powerful car can be addictive at times) and then picking up my dad before heading home. Here I am, showered, lying on my bed with my laptop, mind full of jumbled thoughts, not knowing what to make of them.

2006 has been a true blue roller coaster ride for me. Pat, my dearest soulmate left this world. I walked on and with the help of my friends, pulled myself out of a deep, scary hole. I was, for a point in time, almost at the top of the world. I left for Michigan to start life in the business school. A little under one month in adjusting to the challenges of the b-school. I fell. This time, deep. Alone. It was one of the scariest things to happen. I hope no one ever has to go through the same thing. Between fighting my battles in school, CCAs and academics, I pulled myself on, building myself up from scratch.

Everything has changed. People, school, friends, family, myself. I can barely recognize myself anymore. It's scary. It's okay. I will jiayou. I will be fine.

To my friends out there, somewhere, I wish all of you good health and happiness.

To my dearest family, you all mean the world to me. I don't know what or where I would be now without all of you. If I had disappointed any of you, I'm sorry. I swear I have tried my very best and will continue to do so until I am unable to anymore.

To my dearest angel, it's been 7 months since you've left this world. Thank you for all that you have given to me, to everyone around you. You will always be remembered by all and loved dearly by me. My promise still holds true. I miss you...

Beautiful memories still fill my mind. Mind and heart just refuses to stop thinking about them. I don't know if it was a bad decision. Maybe it was. It would take a huge toll to forget once again.

Oh well, happy new year everyone. May 2007 be a better year for everyone... Good luck and may all of you be blessed with good health, joy, laughter, love and eternal happiness.

Best wishes,
Wilson
Jan 1, 2007, 0432hrs